1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period.
You both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is the beginning of the marriage.
You'll have  sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.

3) The third is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have
kids, so you've got to do it in the bedroom.

4) The fourth is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the
hallway  and say, OH , F#$K YOU!

5) The fifth is Courtroom Sex. This is where you get divorced and your
wife delights in screwing you in front of everyone in the courtroom.